Losing Love: Part 2

Years passed and her world grew bigger. A new life in a new city, another shot at reinvention. “I am someone else!”, mantra she kept in her mind as she started college. Once again, she found herself drawn into the beauty and rawness of the wilderness.

Finding yourself in the middle of nowhere.

She filled herself with fresh expectations but once again her quest brought new wounds. Wounds far more complex and deadly than the ones before. Daytime, she smiled and laugh like sun at noontime but when night came, she slithered into her cave of  self-destruction. A fish out of water desperately seeking the ocean, living off through small air bubbles. Desperation haunted her and self-pity seeped into her blood. She morphed into a reticent swimmer against the ebb and flow. Her mind filled with a farrago of doubts, fears, hopes, and wishes.  They all thought she suffered from the hectic duties and lectures but it was her ray of hope.

Routines made her feel safe. Just as a passenger desperately seeking for saving from a sinking ship, she clung to people who gave her promises of security. She would later find out that they were nothing more than a mere mirages. A bunch of conspirators scheming her demise. One day as she traipsed on, she stumbled into a river and for the first time, she descried her reflection in perfect clarity. She shuddered at the sight, realising that she was her own saviour. All these time she thought she had no choice, nothing more but a victim hanging on to the claws of cruel fate.

Energised with the new insight, she sought to change her reality. She gave up the prescribed life she had before her. The momentum brought her courage and a renewed focus in life. Packed all her stuff and moved to the metropolis, her goal to make her dream a reality. It was more than a decade ago when she dreamt of a restaurant that would serve nothing but fresh and healthy food produced from her own farm. Employing people and empowering them by providing education to their families. For many years, she hated the thought of business, thinking that money was merely the devil’s creation to enslave men. She now saw things in a new light after meeting a stranger. He woke her up from monotony and talked her out of her cowardness.

Creating yourself.

What was once lost is now regained. She found direction and let go of other’s life mould. All her life, patterned after what others saw. She finally mustered enough courage to live life the way she always wanted, swore to herself never be oppressed into living a life she is not happy with. She finally embraced her own legend and reached for the stars. She stood infront of the road that she created, knowing that it will not be an easy journey. Gone are her days of emptiness.

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